andrea…

for the first time in my life, i actually have the motivation to go to the gym. i have lost about 12lbs in the past two months simply by altering my diet. the weight may be off, but i still have the stomach pudge. and i’d simply like my body to be tighter. plus, let’s face it, i may be slim, but i’m definitely out of shape. walking up a flight of stairs leaves me winded. this could also be attributed to the smoking, but the vegetative state i tend to live in doesn’t help much either.

the only downside to all of this is that none of my friggin clothes fit anymore. for most people, this would be a source of joy. but for a self-professed shopaholic, this is sad news. i have spent a lot of time (and money) getting my wardrobe to what it is. this weight loss is making an even bigger dent in my wallet because i need to buy new clothes that fit.

this dedication to the gym is nothing less than beneficial. but there’s other reasons i’m so into getting slim.

i feel like i have little control over the other aspects of my life as of late. my body seems to be the only thing i have control over anymore. that sounds an awful lot like something an anorexic would say. but fear not, i love food way too much to ever stop eating. or puke it back out for that matter.

i hate not knowing what’s going to happen next in my life. i used to go with the flow. now i want to know what happens next. the only thing i know for sure is that in a few short weeks, my weight is going to slip below 130. that’s phenomenal considering i haven’t been there since i was in about grade 10. but on the same token, it’s sort of depressing that the only thing i’m sure of anymore is my weight.