i tend to live inside my own little bubble of self-absorption. but some days, i step out of that and notice the world around me. today is one of those days.
today i find myself reflecting on the reasons i love some of the people in my life.
the girl that comes to mind most today is the curly-haired sweetheart who is beautiful inside and out, no matter how much she will disagree with me on the “beautiful outside” part. during our brief outing at lunch today, we discussed a number of things. one of them being how a friend of ours finally broke down inside this weekend. boys, family, and work all finally got to her. upon telling her about this, she immediately texted said friend to invite her to the gym tonight with us girls. to the friend, it probably seems insignificant. but the fact that this girl felt compelled to try and bring a smile to someone’s face just made my cold heart melt. she cares so much for the people around her, moreso than most anyone i know. this girl deserves everything in life. i only hope for her that one day she can realize her beauty and her heart. and for as much as i adore her love for others, i can only pray that one day she will realize that you have to look out for number one. she’s got a long road ahead of her i’m sure. but i believe that on some idle tuesday, many years from now, she will finally see herself the way i see her - as a selfless beauty deserving of the love of others as well as herself.
through my own struggles, i have come to see that another friend also has her own struggles. and in my selfish bubble, i often tend to push her troubles by the wayside for my own. i know she forgives me for it, but maybe i should learn a little from the friend above. this friend goes above and beyond to help me sort things out in my life. i can’t even begin to explain how thankful i am every day of my life for her. she brings a smile to my face at even the mere thought of her. i could only hope to be there for her as much as she has been there for me.
there is also this techno-geek girl whom i just adore. another one who worries more about others. she carries the weight much too heavy on her shoulders. but i am very similar in that way. it is a cross to bear, but at the end of the day, i believe it gives us both character. opening my mailbox to find an endearing card from an equally endearing friend just made my day better. no one sends snail mail anymore. except for her. and you know, i like that i only receive mail from her. it was always a source of joy for me during her summers away to open my mailbox and find a big fat envelope with multi-coloured letters and pictures of kids in biway flyers who look freakishly similar to me. she struggles with the day-to-day life just as we all do, and some days she breaks down. but i think that’s healthy. and the end of it all, i know she’ll always have a smile on her face and great big hug to give you. she really gives the best hugs.
then there’s this crazy kid i know who’s too damn smart for his own good. and because of this, he tortures himself. he thinks he’s selfish, and the worst person i’ll ever know. but i really am thankful to have had him in my life for so long. it’s forever been a struggle, but it’s only made me grow over the years. i have learned so much from him. and i only hope that one day he, too, sees himself the way i see him - as a caring person who really just wants to make people happy. i can only hope to share my rose-coloured glasses with him some day so he can see the world in a happier light. life’s too short. may as well enjoy it. no one gets out alive.
ok, i’m done being a ray of fucking sunshine now. hopefully i brought a smile to your face as all of you do to me.